Lessons, Letting go and Love

Reflecting on 2009…

Lessons Learned

1.       I have codependency patterns in my intimate relationships

2.       I  take other people’s issues personally then create self-defeating stories

3.       I incorrectly base how I feel about myself by the  behaviours of others

4.       I have let unconscious wounds run my life

5.       I have come to realize my own worth

6.       I am not inferior to others

7.       I do have gifts and something to offer

8.       I can trust my own thoughts and feelings

9.       I am stronger and wiser than I think I am

10.   I can rescue myself

Letting go of:

1.       Self-pity

2.       Childhood and self-defeating patterns

3.       Victimization mentality

4.       Self-doubt

5.       Beating myself up

6.       Allowing my mind/demons to torment me

7.       Overanalyzing things and confusing myself

8.       Taking on other people’s issues as my own

9.       Low self-worth and lack of confidence

10.   My old self-concept

Love & gratitude for:

1.       Friends who have been there through difficult times and good times

2.       Family who have always been there for me

3.       My cats whom I learn so much about living peacefully from

4.       New friends in a new town who have been so warm and welcoming

5.       My good health

6.       Beautiful landscapes that surround me in my new home across country

7.       Writing from my heart in this blog and the words of encouragement from others

8.       Teaching yoga, which inspires me and allows me to inspire others

9.       My vulnerability and open heart

10.   The courage to face my demons/wounds

I hope to take all these lessons and love and step into 2010 lighter as I let go of all that was holding me down. Much love, happiness and peace to all in 2010!

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.”    T.S. Eliot

To Let Go Takes Love

As 2009 comes to a close, it's a good time to look in our hidden places where we carry our fears, our hurts, our resentments, our bitterness, our anger, and all our self-defeating beliefs and LET THEM GO! Clear out for 2010 and make some space for new possibilities and more love to come in and fill you up.

To Let Go Takes Love

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring;

it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off;

it is the realization that I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable,

but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness,

which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another;

it is to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to "fix", but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge,

but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,

but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective;

it is to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue,

but instead to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires,

but to take each day as it comes, and to cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody,

but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To "let go" is not to regret the past,

but to grow and to live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and to love more.

Author Unknown

Allowing

As we approach the end of the year it’s a good time to let go of all that no longer serves us, all that is holding us down or holding us back. Let go of the heaviness of your past and move into the future lighter and more open. Let go of what is weighing heavy on your heart and make some space within. If you are holding on to something else you will not be able to receive what the Universe wants to give you.

Allow the Universe to fill this space with what you need. You don’t need to search for it, you just need to be open and allowing and it will come to you. Just stop resisting, clinging, holding on. Let go of victim mentality, defenses, blame and attachment.

Stay in alignment with who you really are and your truth. Just be open. Just allow. Then all the love, happiness and peace you are seeking will come to you.

All you need to do is embrace it. It is already here just waiting for you to accept it.

Presence as a Present

Presents is what we give our loved ones at Christmas. Presence is the best gift we can give our loved ones at Christmas. Is it a coincidence that these two words are pronounced the same? Presence truly is a gift. Your complete presence. Present in the moment, present in your communications, present in listening, even present in arguing.

So often we are lost in thoughts of the future or pains of the past. We worry about, or anticipate a future event or we become nostalgic about, or regret a past event. Very rarely are we ever completely present in our interactions or even with ourselves. Or present in our own lives!

And subsequently all our relationships with people are skewed because we are not relating from the right now and we may also be diminishing our own power, our power of authentic choice when we are not truly present in the moment. Everything seems to trigger a past event in our subconscious and we react from there or sometimes it triggers our fear or expectations of the future – although that is still related to past experiences.

Yet our power lies in the present moment. It is only the present moment that we can effect. The past is gone, what’s done is done. The future hasn’t happened and can’t be controlled anyhow.

It is ONLY the present moment we have.

It is ONLY in the present moment that we can truly be alive.

It is ONLY in the present moment that we can give our love.

It is ONLY in the present moment that we can find peace.

Give your greatest present this Christmas…your Presence.

Love and Peace to all this Christmas and in the New Year.

Set the Dark Alight

The passage from darkness to light. 

The Winter Solstice – daylight is the shortest due to the tilt of our planet, leaning it the furthest away from the sun - occurs on December 21^st.

The longest night of the year has long been celebrated and heralded as a turning point – the day that marks the return of the sun. The rebirth of the sun.

In darkness we turn inward and reflect on the past year – our joys and our challenges and garner the lessons learned. This earthly shift is the perfect time for creating and accepting change, and realizing our personal growth over the past year. Our own rebirth of sorts.  

Many cultures the world over perform solstice ceremonies. At their root: an ancient fear that the failing light would never return unless humans intervened with anxious vigil or antic celebration. In darkness we must face ourselves, our fears – the monsters in the dark and we must intervene with anxious vigil so the light can enter and dispel our darkness.

A celebration of changing dark into light. Celebrate who we are, our lives and all of our lessons.

The Winter Solstice is a time to release our fears, our pains and let go of our difficulties and as we do, the light of a new day can enter. A perfect time to set positive intentions for the year ahead.

Trust. Faith. Light. 
This is the meaning and magic of the Winter Solstice. 

Trust that at the very darkest moment, the light will start to return. 

A Winter's Night song

One day, if you are lucky...

...you will be in pain.

Why do we hang on so long after someone is gone or something is done? We go over and over it in our heads, rehashing the conversations, what we said, what they said, what we should have said. Keeping the story alive. Giving the “sad” story more power than it had even to begin with. We feed the demons, feed the sadness, feed the pain, feed our own story that we created a long time ago about who we are. Or rather, who we believe we are. Our conditioned self, the role we played in our family, our patterns of behavior, our way of coping and surviving in our family structure. And we take these roles and wounds out into the world, projecting them everywhere and on to everyone, especially in our intimate relationships. 

Whether we want to admit or not, or whether we are even aware of it, most of us recreate our family patterns in our relationships. We approach love the same way we did as children, whether that is through shutting down, acting out, seeking constant approval or trying to be really good to prove our worth. We keep chasing that wound. Searching out there so we can feel good in here.

And it works for a while; all the same familiar patterns over and over again feels strangely comforting, feels like home, feels like what you know even if it isn’t healthy. 

But one day if you are lucky, you will hurt so much that you will no longer be able to bear the pain of living these old beliefs, behaving from your conditioned self and allowing that wounded child to steer the wheel that keeps you from the path of finding who you really are. Keeps you from owning your own power and from living from that space. The very space that will provide you with what you are seeking out there for: love…happiness. 

One day, if you are lucky, you will be cracked open so wide that you will need to look inside and from there the real you will begin to emerge.