Thursday, October 7, 2010

Let the leaves fall where they may

Until we can claim our true worth, we are always unconsciously proving our false beliefs correct.

No matter the circumstances or the person, the story is always the same: “I am not good enough” “I can’t trust myself” “I was betrayed” “I am a victim” “I am not talented/skilled enough” “I will be rejected” and so on. Your mind will always spin this story as soon as something or someone triggers the corresponding emotion. Analyzing, blaming, resenting, sulking, feeling like a victim is not going “fix” how you feel. 

One needs to go deeper. Go inside themselves, rather than look out…out at the “circumstances” or the other people. If you keep running into the same story, there is a block within. It’s not that there is something “wrong” with you, but there is something that is in need of healing or needs to be acknowledged, or something that needs to be challenged by your adult mind.  

Until you tend to the roots, the tree will never stand tall and grow, and the branches will break with the slightest breeze.  And in keeping with that analogy, Autumn is the time that nature hibernates, let’s go of the old as it prepares for new growth. This is the perfect time, as well, to tune into our natural rhythms and turn inward. A time to go within and reflect. Find out what’s really going on within yourself that keeps creating these circumstances that strips you of true self worth, a sense of self that is unshakeable from experiences out there.   

When we realize we control our thoughts and emotions, when we become masters of our thoughts and emotions, then we will no longer feel like victims of outside circumstances or of other people. When we feel like we are victims of circumstances, or that other people are causing us to feel distressing or uncomfortable emotions, that is where we are giving our power away.

A true sense of self worth and power will never be found outside of us, no matter how much money we make, how big of a house we live in, what job title we have, who we are married to, etc.

I don’t claim to know how one can own their power and feel a sense of true self worth, but I do know what keeps one from it. Not believing in ourselves. Not trusting our own voice inside. Needing others to change to make us feel better. Allowing others behaviours, words and actions define how we feel about ourselves. 

I do know unconscious patterns are hard to break. I do know it’s difficult to really believe in ourselves when we have learned not to. I do know that it is scary to speak up for ourselves. I do know it is scary to take risks and try something new. I do know that it is heartbreaking to let go. I do know that it is a long and arduous journey to our true selves. I do know that transformation and breaking out of our comfortable cocoon is painful.

But if we could just take a cue from nature and use the Autumn season as a time to quiet ourselves, to rest and just ALLOW things to decay and fall away. Like a tree shedding its leaves. If we could tune into our own true nature, just as a tree does and trust in this natural process knowing that it is preparing us for new growth, we would be much closer to finding our true power and self worth.  


  1. This is the best piece of advice ever, regarding autumn as the season to help us do so...change for better, leave behind... I wish it was that easy.. guess it's just a matter of trying.

    Thanks for your always SO wise writings,dear KIM!

  2. BTW Did you ever get an e mail from me?

  3. Dulce, you are too kind. Now only if I could take my own "wise advice". I believe it, as all my writings are from looking really deep within, without judgment & fear, to find truth in my emotions.
    As for receiving an email from you - no. But I would be happy to receive one :)

  4. Kimberly, I DO read your advices, learning that you also are human as the rest of us. Lots of other stuff I learn here, too.

    And your take especially on self-worth, is so interesting, it is where many of us--me--fail (there's that word FAIL again!).

    But ya know, I think--well, for me anyway --there IS power outside of myself (maybe inside as well). It's that Higher Power, the Creator, on Whom I rely for everything. And that is whence my power--whatever--is derived.

    It is actually (again, my belief!) That Power which allows me to deal with negativity in my life. Not perfect--but it is a start, a help for me to trust that Power, and believe in it.



  5. Thanks "sick-a-roni!" I learn lots from you as well. I think you make a great point, that we can look to a higher power to gain strength and to TRUST that power. Trust that the Universe s there to help guide us if we believe in life enough to LET GO of our will and go with the flow of life :)