Shadow Dancing

Come join the dance


Here you will find the partner that has all the qualities you are looking for
Immediately, like magnets, you are drawn to each other
The lights go dim and the music begins
You sway to the music, you are twirled and whirled
As you hold each other close on the dance floor
Your bodies melt into one another
His scent, you breathe in as if it is life itself
You feel alive, elated.

You admire your partner’s charisma
His confidence and how he takes the lead
His talented footwork sweeps you off your feet
His sweet words fall gently on to your heart
So perfect, all of this, you want to hold on to it
You attach yourself to him to make it more real-like.

You put your treasure under lock and key to keep it safe
As if you were guarding your life
And you give him the key
Your dance partner, now the holder of the treasure you have found
You close your eyes, hypnotized by the music
You feel yourself floating away … floating into him
Attached as if one on the dance floor.

Then the music stops and the lights turn on
You begin to awaken from your trance-like state
You’re confused and feel lost
Things start looking different, feeling different
It appears empty, but you see shadows … like ghosts almost
It feels scary and dark, even in the light
What kind of dance was that?

It felt so good and now it feels so bad
You beg the music man to play another song
But nothing happens
It’s become very quiet except the noise in your head
Still spinning from the dance of your life
But now it sounds distorted
You beg the music man again, to play music like he did before
But only more distortion.

And where is your treasure? Where is your treasure?!
You no longer have access to it because you gave the key away
You look for the key in your partner but you can’t find it anymore
He’s the one that has it after all.

You continue to look to him for the key to your treasure
You try to hold on to him, pull him in close again … dance again
You need the treasure that he has
It is your life-line
You want answers
From him … from the music man … from anyone.

But no answers come from anyone or anyplace
Out there
Beaten, exhausted and ready to give up the fight
In your surrender, you begin to look for the key to your treasure
In a place you were certain it would never be found
Inside. Yourself.

It’s no longer so loud
You begin to hear the music again, but it’s not as distorted
There is clarity
Although fearful that you may be hypnotized again and fall
You remain somewhat doubtful, slowly
Step by step you move alone on the dance floor
The shadows begin to disappear one by one
Soon you realize that the gifts you thought belonged to another
Were really yours all along.



The shadow dance is now over.

Where to point to?

Why do we view something that didn’t work out as we wanted as bad? A relationship fails. We get unfairly fired from a job. A friendship ends.

Why do we have to find someone to blame? Why do we feel we need to hate, be mad at or blame someone or something? Or if we are more ‘spiritually evolved’ and realize that we are part of the equation, that our beliefs and patterns helped co-create a situation, we still may hate, get mad at and blame, but this time ourselves.

Someone must be responsible! Someone must be punished, we think. We need to know. We need an answer. We need to point a finger at something, someone.

I would say many do not even realize they are blaming or resenting, but even being angry with ourselves is a form of blame, resentment and harsh judgment.

Why can’t we view these ‘failures’ as a learning experience or just an experience? An opportunity to grow? An opportunity to see deeper parts of ourselves? Why do they have to be ugly, wrong, stupid or bad?

One theory. That is what we were taught when we were children and/or perceived with the mind of a child. When we did something ‘wrong’, or something they didn’t like, or we failed at something, we were made to feel (or felt through our own perception of their reactions), that we are bad, stupid, ugly, not worthy, etc. And who wants to feel that?

So we need someone/something to blame for this experience or these feelings. And if no one else can tell you as a child that it is okay to make a mistake and that it doesn’t mean you are bad, dumb, unworthy, inferior, or if they can’t admit they were actually wrong,  you carry the burden of blame and shame yourself. A huge and complex burden for little shoulders to carry.

This is then instilled in your belief system and becomes the patterns by which you behave by and the way of seeing things and experiencing things in life.

So, how do we learn to really just experience things, especially things that don’t seem to work out in our favour, or as we wanted, or the experiences that hurt us? And how do we also not make them mean something about ourselves? 

How do we accept those experiences without needing to cast blame or make someone wrong or bad and deserving of punishment for their actions?

 Theories? Ponderings?

Sifting through the sands of time

Sift: To separate and retain the course parts


To question closely

To distinguish as if separating with a sieve

To examine and sort carefully



That relationship brought out my weaknesses…my wounds.

It brought to surface my dormant wounds. The wounds and beliefs that were “secretly” driving my life. The puppet master controlling my thoughts and behaviours. Beliefs that I didn’t even know existed. Beliefs about myself – not good enough, not special enough, inferior… Ingrained and accepted…without even knowing.

Brought to the surface. His stuff pulled out my stuff. Energetically it magnetized and attached on to mine and pulled it up to the surface. What was this? What was going on? I thought it was him that had the emotional issues. Indeed he did, that is how it pulled up my dormant and similar ones. His, so strong and apparent (to me) that they had the strong pull of a magnet and pulled mine up from deep within.

My strong attachment to him was the attachment to my wounds. It was a match. I just didn’t know what it really was. I thought it was a deep connection to another, one of soul mates, one of … close to love. I guess it was a deep connection, because it was a strong attachment…to some dense wounds.

Brought my toxicity to the surface. Where they really needed to be. Where they really wanted to be so they can be seen. SEEN. Seen for what they really are. Old wounds. Not true. False beliefs.

Brought to the surface to be sifted through. Separating the useless stuff from the useable stuff.